My day at work.

8:45- Arrive for work.
Check e-mail and find little facebook activity has occurred since 5:00pm Monday.
Day off to bad start.
9:30- Begin Excel training session with arch nemesis co-worker Marylyn. Marylyn takes slowly to new tasks and things have to be repeated, a lot.
Day bad trend continues
10:30- Marylyn bitches about lack of music playing in office.
Insert Best of the Eagles CD, Part I. Marylyn is down with baby boomer generation classic rock. Said co-worker is muted until CD finishes.
12:30- Lunch. Pimiento cheese on wheat thins and fruit in front of computer. Compose reply e-mail to frat brothers in regards to Jarod Beam's bachelor party. Bulk of said e-mail is in response to a previous reply in the frat e-mail chain by one Rish Spurlock. My reply to Rish and other frat brothers takes on a tone of subtle mockery and Rish is successfully taunted.
2:00- Marylyn makes stupid comments about stupid work stuff and I think about striking her, physically, with my fist. Decide this is not appropriate for work atmosphere. Violence constrained.
3:00- Marylyn requests more music. I oblige. Dave Matthews. Co-worker objects and approaches desk to make different selection. Access to CD's denied. Marylyn is sent back to her desk.
3:15- Marylyn- "Honey do you hear dogs barking?" Me- "yeah" Marylyn- "good"
3:45- 85 year old former volunteer calls office from retirement home. Willow, my other, much cooler co-worker, fields former volunteer's call, is put on hold, and turned over to Marylyn. Marylyn, visibly not happy to be talking with volunteer, spends next 20 or so minutes talking with elderly, lonely, sweet Martha. Marylyn is heard saying things like, "I think you'd enjoy water aerobics Martha." "How is the food?" "I'm glad you're making friends." "Are you getting out and going to church? Do they have a bus or something?"
4:00- Send work e-mail to Willow describing my pleasure in Marylyn's suffering.
4:05- Willow confirms similar sentiments.
4:10- Marylyn gets off phone with Martha and conveys clear displeasure with said conversation and said co-workers for not aiding her in terminating call from Martha. There is much silent rejoicing made clear by Willow/Tyler eye contact.
4:30- Receive e-mail from Spencer with comments about his own day at work:

"when i was eating lunch with susan in the breakroom, she asked if i knew "that guy on tv on sunday mornings who is kind of slender...". i interrupted her mid description and said joel osteen. i was correct. she said she loves joel osteen. he puts everything so she can understand it. this is the same woman whose dream is for there to be a mexican buffet. i think i might have found a new girlfriend, possibly to replace dr. rossmann.
we were on the subject of preachers because she was talking about her sister's ex husband who is/was an ordained minister that cheated on her with his secretary. staying in for lunch today was a good decision.
spencer"

5:00ish- Whistle blows, time sheet is punched, hard hat left in locker.