I have this co-worker. Her name is Marilyn. While she is many things, she is primarily a name dropper. She drops names, always. "I knew Bill Clinton when I lived in Arkansas." She likes to refer to Al Gore as "the Senator." Marilyn loves to talk about the days when she worked on The Senator's presidential campaign in 1988.

Marilyn likes to talk. She kind of sounds like that character on Will and Grace, Karen, Grace's assistant/friend. Usually once a day she'll be sitting behind her computer and do one of two things.

The first: she'll start giggling at something funny a friend e-mailed her. It's the kind of thing where you feel obligated to ask what is funny, knowing whatever she's laughing at will not be funny. "Oh honey, listen to this." She'll read a joke from her e-mail. It's not funny, mostly because she's the one telling the joke. I smile, a forced laugh is emitted. Several more jokes are read. I don't laugh at these. One courtesy laugh is my limit for her e-mail story telling jokes.

The second: "Oh honey, come look at this." Me, "Oh, what's that you're looking at?" Marilyn: "Oh honey, come here. You've got to see this." I know she's on CNN or something I could easily view on my own computer, but she insists I walk to her desk and look at whatever mortifying piece of news is on the screen. Usually, some kind of video describing the tragic ending to the life of an extremely old zoo animal, or how some species of rare bird is nearing extinction. Marilyn: "It's just so sad," she says. Me: "Yeah, I mean, that hippo had a really long life, though."

Dino's closed again all week. God willing, $1.05 hot dogs will be had next week.

I wrote this post a few weeks ago and forgot to post it. Enjoy.

A word on the book of face.

Sometimes when I'm sitting at work I'll be doing something and all of the sudden I'll notice a new e-mail, and I'll dash to open the g-mail tab to find out who sent me an e-mail. Between the time I see that someone has e-mailed me and the moment I find out who sent me a message I think, I wonder if it's from facebook, oh I hope it's from facebook and someone has written on my wall...or maybe it's a friend request, but I don't get those too often so it's probably not. Then I think, ok Tyler, calm down and prepare yourself from something lame like...not from facebook. Then when it's not from facebook, I resume what I was doing on facebook.

I'm so pathetic.

I got really excited around spring break time because I knew people would post their obligatory spring break photo albums on facebook. Most of these albums are pretty standard, beach stuff, a camping trip, maybe the occasional cruise, but I don't care. I need to be reminded that others had a spring break. I'm not really even that jealous, but I have to see those damn pictures. You went to the beach, but never went outside because you played beer pong all week long in a friends parent's beach house? I need to see those. You went out to dinner for seafood? I like seafood, and watching you eat it. You dug a hole at the beach and got in it? Must see FB. Am I a stalker? Yes. End of story.

You might have already seen this you tube video about facebook, but if not, or if you want to watch it again, which you should, check it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHi-ZcvFV_0

"confirm, confirm, confirm, confirm"

An Ode to Two-A-Days

I don’t know about you, but I can’t get enough teenage drama. If you’re like me, you didn’t miss a moment of Two-A-Days this season. Ok, so I only watched 4 or 5 of the shows, but I can still act like I was obsessed.

I mean, seriously, where else can I watch DeJohn and Brittany stomp around the woods in matching camo gear and carry on awkward teenager relationship conversation? God I just hope they can stay together next year. I’ll be prayin’ for um, tell you that much. Where else can I bask in the reflected glory of quarterback Ross Wilson? No where, that’s where.

Where else can I flip on the tube to find a hippie haired middle aged high school male cheerleading coach freak out over whether or not his squad can get the big football team bust through at the beginning of the game banner thing ready in time for the Vestavia game. Not too many places…

Two-A-Days, like so many other MTV shows, gives me all the made for TV manipulated teenage drama I can handle in the comfort of my own home.

Last night we saw what I assume will be the last Two-A-Days, ever. A few observations:

Fact. Brittany and DeJohn will never make it as a couple in college. I just don’t see it happening. I mean, they say they’re going to stay together once they’re at Alabama, but I just don’t know. He’ll join a fraternity and she’ll join a sorority and things will happen…

They’ll like, see each other at a band party and she’ll be like, “oh hey DeJohn, what’s up?” and he’ll be like, “I just can’t handle seeing you here. It’s just not the same like that time when we went to Hoover and were stars in the MTV hit show, Two-a-days.” And she’ll be like, “Can’t you stop living in the past, DeJohn! Two-a-days is over and we’ve got to move on with our lives! High school was, like, pretty cool, but like, we go to Alabama now!"

They’ll start to make new friends and slowly grow apart. Seen it a million times. That’s a lot of times.

Maybe next year they’ll do a Two-A-Day’s “college edition.” Don’t think you wouldn’t watch. Ok you probably wouldn’t, but I would. I gots to see what my booiii Repete’s up to these days. Holla at cha Repete! Chea!