Greetings from Michigan

2008-12-24T15:14:00.002-05:00

things god invented and why.

1. the puppy cam--as seen on the internets--if you have not seen this, do it, do it now. you can watch puppies in their natural puppy habitat do things puppies do: including make cute noises, scuffle, sleep (sometimes making cute noises), and cuddle.

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/shiba-inu-puppy-cam

2. for obvious reasons, nick saban.

3. also for obvious reasons, both parents of St. Nick.

4. james bond movies--i just saw the newest james bond movie and it kicked ass. some people who "know things about movies" apparently say it's not very good. well, i for one am thankful i don't know much about movies. movie snobbery is like beer snobbery. some peoples', webb and john paul, but mostly webb, genuine appreciation for good beer can ruin ones willingness to sip on a salt of the earth, regular guy, joe the macro brewery worker american lager...ie, bud light, coors light, etc. Look--The Dark Knight was a kick ass, high quality film, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy a little Live Free or Die Hard too. I mean, come on people, these are the movies that make us who we are today, USA USA!

5. cracker barrels--my position on cracker barrels is known--i will not re-hash the glorious reasons why god gave us the barrel...other than this...if you don't like or think you don't like cracker barrel, go to a cracker barrel, look into the eyes of the sweet woman serving you delicious down home deliciousness...look into her eyes, right as she puts your frosty mug and carton of whole milk on the table, next to your slice of apple pie...look into her sweet, gentle, loving, 17 year old this is the only job i could find in this dying town eyes, look at them!, and tell me, just try and tell me you don't like cracker barrel. that's right, you can't, because you can't say you don't like, love, the barrel.

6. leftovers--we are in the midst of peek leftover season--there's only two times every year when people intentionally forget how much food they can reasonably stuff down their throat--thanksgiving and christmas. young bachelors, such as myself, have to be ready to move in for the kill when leftover food is being distributed. usually, most of the people doing the food distributing post-meal know that you are, or at least give off the impression, of being totally incapable of feeding yourself without occasional outside help. milk this for all it's worth and enjoy. to aid this impression you can try the following: mention the new dish you've started preparing for dinner "Cereal Suicide" akin to the fountain soda suicide. "it turns out, aunt judy, apple jacks, captain crunch, and count chocula are the trifecta of breakfast cereal combinations."

7. and finally, as it turns out, god also gave us things that are both good and bad. exhibit A: karaoke.

i used to be a karaoke hater. then i met bourbon street. among other attractions at bourbon street, a local bar, is the karaoke. it is at bourbon street where i culminated my love for Toby Keith's "Brought to you Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue." I know a guy who says that every person has one karaoke song meant for them...with the aid of a drink served from a pickle jar I discovered my song. sometimes though, karaoke can put you in terrible situations. keep your eye on friends filling out karaoke request slips of paper. they will screw you over. the other night i was tricked into singing "Beat It". Oh yeah, I know most of the words to that, this will be fine. "Beat it, beat it, no one wants to ....eat it, beat it?" Incorrect. It turns out Beat It has lots of lyrics cryptically hidden within the song to make you look like an idiot when you sing it in front of people. In summary--karaoke--occasionally a force for good and self discovery and other times a tool used to inspire deceit and looking stupidness.

2007-12-11T21:48:00.000-05:00

I can't hold it in any longer. I have to profess my undying love for the best movie ever. I've watched it more than a dozen times. This is a special little film I like to call "My new Haircut". I cannot get enough of this guy's new haircut. Nor can I get enough protein bars, swollness, or heinekens. I am in awe.

I will go ahead and acknowledge that this movie is completely and totally innapropriate and should never be viewed unless you are willing to subject yourself to a barage of f'bombs, sexist comments, and five minutes of awesome. No, but really, it's profane and terrible. if you are offended by curse words, don't watch it. However, if you are up for the challenge tune in to you tube, broskey.

That is all.

2007-11-25T14:52:00.001-05:00

Things to report from sunday lunch, and other topics:

Most Sunday's my family goes to lunch with my grandmother after church. Today we went to Shan-gri-la, a delicious chinese restaurant near old Eastwood Mall/new fancy Wal-Mart. Mom said that yesterday, toward the later stages of the alabama-auburn game, dad got pretty upset with alabama's performance. Dad likes to slap his hands against his knees and yell at the tv when things go wrong during Alabama sporting events. Mom reports that this was all very upsetting to our dog, Dotty, who fled the den with her tail tucked, chosing to spend the rest of the evening in the laundry hamper.

Another thing from lunch: Conversation between me and my grandmother, Ahree.

"Tyler what's that country in Africa you went to?"
Me- "Mozambique"
Ahree- "I heard something in the news about one of those countries. Something just awful, I can't remember, did you see anything about that?"
Me- "I don't think so."
Ahree- "Well, I can't remember either. Just google it."

Ahree has never googled anything and wouldn't know where to locate the "on" button to a computer.

A follow up note on Cracker Barrel:

My uncle informed me over Thanksgiving that Cracker Barrel's are left handed. It's true. You walk into the barrel, bam, you're in the gift shop thing. Which way do you go to be seated you might ask, left of course. The dining area is always to the left of the gift shop, always, except, I hear, for the Barrel in Cullman, but Cullman is kind of a strange place so I don't put much stock into what they do at the Cullman barrel.

Thanks for bringing this noteworthy observation to my attention, uncle David.

Last thing: ...and this is kind of a strange and perhaps disturbing thing, so get ready. I got really upset after the Alabama-Auburn game on Saturday. I usually don't get upset when Alabama loses games, but not this time. Toward the end of the game, and with the aid of several adult beverages, I think I felt hatred towards Auburn. You know, six is too many times in a row to get beat by any team.

After the game I got this real intense kind of 300 esque thought in my mind, like, this shit will not stand, man. This is the last time. Next year we will destroy them like the Persian dogs they are, and for good measure we will burn down select parts of their campus, not excluding key cow pastures! Then we will take their band members hostage, bringing them to Tuscaloosa where they will be forced to stay in the most terrible of all places, Tutweiler. Band members will only be fed from the worst Tuscaloosa chinese buffet and at the beginning of every hour there will be a forced viewing of that pre-game video where Bear Bryant mumbles a lot and talks about being a winner.

Tommy Tuberville is Zerkses and Nick Saban, King Lionitus, will cut off Tuberville's goofy Persian ears, strip off all his under armor logo'd garments, and offer them as a gift to the Bear's grave...and their will be much rejoicing. Yes, that is what will happen. Bank on it.

Saban demands it!

2007-11-13T22:56:00.000-05:00

a few things...

i love leftovers. and speaking of, we're heading into the heart of leftover season, the holidays. end of story. other things...

i just listened to an interview Larry Langford did with WBHM this morning. It's pretty good.

http://www.wbhm.org/News/2007/Langford_takes_over.html

last thing...there's this guy named Jeff Kallay who is an "expert" in college visit experiences. He recently came to Birmingham-Southern and did some work with the admission staff, as well as the greater BSC community, to help improve the campus visit experience for prospective students and their families. He keeps a blog and mentioned BSC in his latest post. Kind of neat if you care about such things.

http://blogs.targetx.com/targetx/theexperienceevangelist/

check it.

2007-10-28T21:29:00.000-04:00

I love the cracker barrel.

I don't know why. Oh wait yes I do, because it's bad ass. At cracker barrel you can order milk and you get whole milk, bam, no questions asked. just like that, and a mug, oh and yes, it's a cold mug.

I went to cracker barrel for dinner tonight. It was fantastic. I get basically the same thing every time, every time being about 3 times. Vegetable plate, four vegetables. Always the fried apples because they are delicious. Then it's usually a tough choice between greens and green beans. Both are delicious. Macaroni and cheese is always a good decision and so is okra, always.

Cracker Barrel is one of those places you hope the waitress calls you sweetie or darlin'... no male servers, please. i need a middle aged to older woman who is going to refill my tea and ask me if the food's alright and call me darlin', and you can not be a dude to pull this off.

Everything at cracker barrel is simple, including the people. just plain folks, gettin their country cookin from a place where the people are decent and honest, and you can check out a book on tape, for a reasonable price, that can be turned in at any barrel location.

When the waitress brought me a water and it had lemon in it, I was tempted to remove the lemon from the water. There's somethin about lemon in water that's a bit too la dee da for my simple cracker barrel tastes. I usually prefer lemon in my water, but not at cracker barrel. All I need to accessorize my food is a shit ton of pepper sauce and your basic salt and pepper, and none of that grind it up in the shaker pepper, just the regular amurican kind.

As I paid at the cash register I was tempted to tell the teenager at the register how much I loved the cracker barrel. I really wanted to gush to this person, but then I thought she might not appreciate, or worse yet, love the barrel like I do, and I couldn't stand to think she might not love her job as much as I thought she should, a lot.

The end.

2007-07-17T21:33:00.000-04:00

This sign has recently been put up in several places around Birmingham. I don't know why. My aunt Gail decided to document the signage before the world don(e) changes. She sent me this picture.

On the possibilty of the world changing my grandmother says, "No big surprise. It's changing every day."

True dat Ahree.

2007-06-19T15:10:00.000-04:00

My day at work.

8:45- Arrive for work.
Check e-mail and find little facebook activity has occurred since 5:00pm Monday.
Day off to bad start.
9:30- Begin Excel training session with arch nemesis co-worker Marylyn. Marylyn takes slowly to new tasks and things have to be repeated, a lot.
Day bad trend continues
10:30- Marylyn bitches about lack of music playing in office.
Insert Best of the Eagles CD, Part I. Marylyn is down with baby boomer generation classic rock. Said co-worker is muted until CD finishes.
12:30- Lunch. Pimiento cheese on wheat thins and fruit in front of computer. Compose reply e-mail to frat brothers in regards to Jarod Beam's bachelor party. Bulk of said e-mail is in response to a previous reply in the frat e-mail chain by one Rish Spurlock. My reply to Rish and other frat brothers takes on a tone of subtle mockery and Rish is successfully taunted.
2:00- Marylyn makes stupid comments about stupid work stuff and I think about striking her, physically, with my fist. Decide this is not appropriate for work atmosphere. Violence constrained.
3:00- Marylyn requests more music. I oblige. Dave Matthews. Co-worker objects and approaches desk to make different selection. Access to CD's denied. Marylyn is sent back to her desk.
3:15- Marylyn- "Honey do you hear dogs barking?" Me- "yeah" Marylyn- "good"
3:45- 85 year old former volunteer calls office from retirement home. Willow, my other, much cooler co-worker, fields former volunteer's call, is put on hold, and turned over to Marylyn. Marylyn, visibly not happy to be talking with volunteer, spends next 20 or so minutes talking with elderly, lonely, sweet Martha. Marylyn is heard saying things like, "I think you'd enjoy water aerobics Martha." "How is the food?" "I'm glad you're making friends." "Are you getting out and going to church? Do they have a bus or something?"
4:00- Send work e-mail to Willow describing my pleasure in Marylyn's suffering.
4:05- Willow confirms similar sentiments.
4:10- Marylyn gets off phone with Martha and conveys clear displeasure with said conversation and said co-workers for not aiding her in terminating call from Martha. There is much silent rejoicing made clear by Willow/Tyler eye contact.
4:30- Receive e-mail from Spencer with comments about his own day at work:

"when i was eating lunch with susan in the breakroom, she asked if i knew "that guy on tv on sunday mornings who is kind of slender...". i interrupted her mid description and said joel osteen. i was correct. she said she loves joel osteen. he puts everything so she can understand it. this is the same woman whose dream is for there to be a mexican buffet. i think i might have found a new girlfriend, possibly to replace dr. rossmann.
we were on the subject of preachers because she was talking about her sister's ex husband who is/was an ordained minister that cheated on her with his secretary. staying in for lunch today was a good decision.
spencer"

5:00ish- Whistle blows, time sheet is punched, hard hat left in locker.

2007-05-25T14:43:00.000-04:00

I can't get enough talk radio. Most days during lunch I sit in my car and listen to 101.1 FM the Source for some good political dialogue. The Lee Davis show is usually on during my lunch break. Lee Davis is conservative, Alabama conservative, and most of his callers are similar. The show usually goes something like this:

Lee: "We got Earl up next. Watcha know good Earl?"
Earl: "You know what gets me all riled up Lee, what makes me so angry I could spit? Terists. Plain and simple. Them A-rab boys are over thar killin our boys everyday, insurgents goin bananas blowin themselves up, al-quadea causen all this secretarian violence. It's never endin. I'll tell you what the problem is Lee.
Lee: "Talk to me Earl"
Earl: "Democrats. Plain and simple. You know what's messin up our country today? You know what's makin Amrica less safe each and every day? The party of Narncy Pelosi cut and run yello bellied, tax hikin, hippie lovin, baby killin Democrats. That's what. You know what else is ruinin this great nation that you and i both love, help me jesus?
Lee: "Preach on brother"
Earl: Immigrants. Tell you what Lee, these fellers up in Warshington wantin to give them illegals armnesty got another thing comin. You know if them folks up in warshington don't tie them sumbitches up and throw over the Rio Grandadero River, I will. Plain and simple. Read my lips. If you is an illegal in this great freedom lovin, gawd fearin nation, you got another thing comin brother, amigo, if you will and I will.
Lee: You know Earl, I agree with everything you're sayin, but I think I'd take it a step further. I mean...

and so on and so forth.

Another one of my favorite radio talk shows is Paul Finebaum, sports talk. The following dialogue is loosely based on an actual Finebaum caller, Shane from Center Point.

Paul: "Let's keep things rollin along and take another caller. Shane's up next. What's up Shane?"

Shane: "Now Paul, you know me and you know if there's one thing I don't like it's a rat bastard Auburn fan. I can't stand it when little weasel's like Bobby from Homewood call into your show and brag about how Auburn's beatin Alabama the last five years. Now I'll tell you what Paul, and Bobby from Homewood for that matter, you got another thing comin, and that things name is Nick Saban, bless his sacred holy name. Yes sir-y bob Nick Saban gon beat the fire out a Auburn for the next 25 years, mark my word right now on this here show, hand over heart, I do pledge allegiance to his name. Tell you what, Bobby from Homewood, freedom hatin cow college s.o.b... I was down at A-Day 200Saban this year with my wife and Shane Jr. and them boys looked good. Real good. Nick's gone whip them boys into shape. You better watch out cause the tide is gone roll next year. Yes sir. Bear willin.

and another thing Paul...I been sittin here since the last time I called into your show, yesterday, from my home, where I listen to the radio all day and contemplate the next time I will call your show to kiss your ass and make an idiot of myself...and I been thinkin bout recruitin an bout how sweet it's goin to be when Nick Saban whips up on Auburn, an Florida, an Tennerssee in recruitin. Now I've been checkin the TiderInsider intranet account I borrowed from my friend who lets me use his password, god bless him, every day now for the last 8 years and man I tell you what, Nick's gone do a number on um this year. Man, ain't that gone be sweet. That's all I got, Paul. Roll Tide world wide. I'm out."

2007-04-24T15:21:00.000-04:00

I have this co-worker. Her name is Marilyn. While she is many things, she is primarily a name dropper. She drops names, always. "I knew Bill Clinton when I lived in Arkansas." She likes to refer to Al Gore as "the Senator." Marilyn loves to talk about the days when she worked on The Senator's presidential campaign in 1988.

Marilyn likes to talk. She kind of sounds like that character on Will and Grace, Karen, Grace's assistant/friend. Usually once a day she'll be sitting behind her computer and do one of two things.

The first: she'll start giggling at something funny a friend e-mailed her. It's the kind of thing where you feel obligated to ask what is funny, knowing whatever she's laughing at will not be funny. "Oh honey, listen to this." She'll read a joke from her e-mail. It's not funny, mostly because she's the one telling the joke. I smile, a forced laugh is emitted. Several more jokes are read. I don't laugh at these. One courtesy laugh is my limit for her e-mail story telling jokes.

The second: "Oh honey, come look at this." Me, "Oh, what's that you're looking at?" Marilyn: "Oh honey, come here. You've got to see this." I know she's on CNN or something I could easily view on my own computer, but she insists I walk to her desk and look at whatever mortifying piece of news is on the screen. Usually, some kind of video describing the tragic ending to the life of an extremely old zoo animal, or how some species of rare bird is nearing extinction. Marilyn: "It's just so sad," she says. Me: "Yeah, I mean, that hippo had a really long life, though."

Dino's closed again all week. God willing, $1.05 hot dogs will be had next week.

2007-04-06T17:16:00.000-04:00

I wrote this post a few weeks ago and forgot to post it. Enjoy.

A word on the book of face.

Sometimes when I'm sitting at work I'll be doing something and all of the sudden I'll notice a new e-mail, and I'll dash to open the g-mail tab to find out who sent me an e-mail. Between the time I see that someone has e-mailed me and the moment I find out who sent me a message I think, I wonder if it's from facebook, oh I hope it's from facebook and someone has written on my wall...or maybe it's a friend request, but I don't get those too often so it's probably not. Then I think, ok Tyler, calm down and prepare yourself from something lame like...not from facebook. Then when it's not from facebook, I resume what I was doing on facebook.

I'm so pathetic.

I got really excited around spring break time because I knew people would post their obligatory spring break photo albums on facebook. Most of these albums are pretty standard, beach stuff, a camping trip, maybe the occasional cruise, but I don't care. I need to be reminded that others had a spring break. I'm not really even that jealous, but I have to see those damn pictures. You went to the beach, but never went outside because you played beer pong all week long in a friends parent's beach house? I need to see those. You went out to dinner for seafood? I like seafood, and watching you eat it. You dug a hole at the beach and got in it? Must see FB. Am I a stalker? Yes. End of story.

You might have already seen this you tube video about facebook, but if not, or if you want to watch it again, which you should, check it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHi-ZcvFV_0

"confirm, confirm, confirm, confirm"

2007-04-04T15:33:00.000-04:00

An Ode to Two-A-Days

I don’t know about you, but I can’t get enough teenage drama. If you’re like me, you didn’t miss a moment of Two-A-Days this season. Ok, so I only watched 4 or 5 of the shows, but I can still act like I was obsessed.

I mean, seriously, where else can I watch DeJohn and Brittany stomp around the woods in matching camo gear and carry on awkward teenager relationship conversation? God I just hope they can stay together next year. I’ll be prayin’ for um, tell you that much. Where else can I bask in the reflected glory of quarterback Ross Wilson? No where, that’s where.

Where else can I flip on the tube to find a hippie haired middle aged high school male cheerleading coach freak out over whether or not his squad can get the big football team bust through at the beginning of the game banner thing ready in time for the Vestavia game. Not too many places…

Two-A-Days, like so many other MTV shows, gives me all the made for TV manipulated teenage drama I can handle in the comfort of my own home.

Last night we saw what I assume will be the last Two-A-Days, ever. A few observations:

Fact. Brittany and DeJohn will never make it as a couple in college. I just don’t see it happening. I mean, they say they’re going to stay together once they’re at Alabama, but I just don’t know. He’ll join a fraternity and she’ll join a sorority and things will happen…

They’ll like, see each other at a band party and she’ll be like, “oh hey DeJohn, what’s up?” and he’ll be like, “I just can’t handle seeing you here. It’s just not the same like that time when we went to Hoover and were stars in the MTV hit show, Two-a-days.” And she’ll be like, “Can’t you stop living in the past, DeJohn! Two-a-days is over and we’ve got to move on with our lives! High school was, like, pretty cool, but like, we go to Alabama now!"

They’ll start to make new friends and slowly grow apart. Seen it a million times. That’s a lot of times.

Maybe next year they’ll do a Two-A-Day’s “college edition.” Don’t think you wouldn’t watch. Ok you probably wouldn’t, but I would. I gots to see what my booiii Repete’s up to these days. Holla at cha Repete! Chea!

2007-03-19T12:28:00.000-04:00

Where do we go when we die? A good question, and the answer is simple, if you're a member of the Sigma Chi fraternity. That's right, if you were lucky enough to be initiated into our elite order, you've got yourself a one way ticket punched for Chapter Eternal, the big chapter in the sky.

Sometimes I wonder what it will be like...

Obviously everyone would live in one house, chapter house eternal. Although, I hear some of the older guys live in some apartments down the street. I hope my room in the house isn't above the speakers in the basement, like it was in real life. Listening to the vibrations of "Alive" (members of Pearly Jam actually come to perform the song in Sigma Chi heaven) from below is no way to spend eternity. I also imagine that everyone would eat in one great hall every night for dinner, just like in Harry Potter, except Constantine would preside over each meal. Sitting to his left would be John Wayne and when he arrives, there will be a seat awaiting Chen to Constantine's right side. After dinner David Letterman will provide weekly entertainment by way of his top ten lists and occasional video feeds with Rupert G. of the eternal Hello Deli. Also, one night a week we will watch a Brad Pitt film and brother Pitt will tell us everything there is to know about acting and being awesome.

You can also go to church in Sigma Chi heaven. I like to believe there are seven churches, and each of the founders serves as the senior pastor for one of the churches. I also choose to believe you can drink beer in church eternal, as it aides the worship experience. Another thing I choose to believe is that everything in Chapter Eternal should and will be followed by the word "eternal", ie. "Penny Beer Eternal," "Pledge Dance Eternal," "Publix Eternal" and so on and so forth.

The only bad thing about Sigma Chi heaven is that it's next door to KA Heaven. This is unfortunate because KA Heaven insists on playing Ring of Fire at all hours of the night, not to mention that gunfire and unruly battle crys can occasionally be heard from periodic KA Heaven Civil War reenactments. Besides that, everything is good. SAE Heaven is at the other end of Fraternity Eternal Row and independents have a separate heaven on a far away eternal dorm quad, so those things are good.

I can't wait to get there!

2007-03-06T13:48:00.000-05:00

Just some things.

Thing 1:

The other day our neighbor came over to ask me if I could help her seven year old son, James, setup a new video game. I agreed, knowing full well I would be unable to solve whatever problem seven year old James had encountered. I went over to their house and stabbed at a few buttons on the remote control. Nothing happened. I noticed James had an X-Box 360. Pretty sweet. Coincidentally, earlier in the day I had considered hooking up my own Nintendo 64 to do little MarioKarting. Feeling bad that I couldn't help James out with his problem, I invited him to join me. James told me he'd never heard of a Nintendo 64. Unbelievable! At this point I avoided the temptation to say something really lame and adulty like, "Gee that makes me feel old."

Later, James came over and I proceeded to kick his seven-year-old ass en route to winning the Gold Cup for the Mushroom and Star divisions in the 50 class. Compliments of mom, milk and cookies were enjoyed by all.

I like to think young James learned a little something that day. Ain't no kindygartner gonna come into my (parent's) house and beat me at MarioKart.period.

Thing 2:

Until recently I believed there was only one thing in this world worth a buck 0 five, and according to the hit puppet movie Team America: World Police, that was freedom. It turns out there is a second item worth the same amount of money, a regular hot dog from Dino's in Woodlawn.

The only question is, which of these is more delicious? The answer should seem obvious, Dino's. That is, unless you consider how freedom might taste lathered in onions, mustard, special sauce, and kraut. You decide.

That's it.

2007-02-20T15:42:00.000-05:00

You know those Bud Lite radio commercials where they do the salute to...whoever thing, "Real American Heroes." Well, I decided to create one such ad on the behalf of the girls on the MTV show, "My Super Sweet Sixteen," which I do watch.

Today we salute you, My Super Sweet Sixteen girl. Even though daddy refuses to pay for a F-16 fighter jet squadron to beckon your arrival for the big party, you still manage to crank the ignition to your new Range Rover with an easy smile. We all know it's not easy being you, oh princess of puberty, baroness of the Banana Republic. Bow Wow canceled on you last second and now you have to settle for a guest appearance by Clay Aiken, ouch. We have much to learn from you, oh matron of materialism. It was you who flew with a friend and dad to Paris and met with a fashion consultant to scour the Parisian sweet sixteen dress market, only to fire her halfway through the day and press on by yourselves to purchase the perfect $3,000 dress that needed hundreds of dollars of alterations, and it was you who made the clutch decision to have a giant zit lasered off your face just before the big day. So here's to you, super sweet sixteen girl, get out there on the dance floor and get a little jiggy with it alongside your five hundred closest friends and select obligitory minority guests, we all know you deserve it.

2007-02-15T11:16:00.000-05:00

I recently took the Sigma Chi sticker off the back of my car. I'm looking at my car right now. I wonder if it's sad, or mad at me. A piece of its identity torn away at the hands of a razor blade. Suck it up, car! That's what I say. College is over and it's time I started pretending that I'm a mature adult with a stickerless back windshield, or almost stickerless.

I had an interview yesterday at a law firm, Battle Fleenor Green Winn and Clemmer. Do you think they pulled straws and Clemmer came out on the raw end of the deal? I do. When I arrived the receptionist warmly offered me a beverage: water, soft drink, or coffee, and buzzed Mr. Winn's office to tell him, "Mr. Davis is here." She called me Mr. Davis, that's weird. She even validated my parking before I had a chance to ask. Whew, now this is the royal treatment. A bit too royal if you asked me. I'm keeping my eye on you lady, Leslie, if I remember correctly. I think they wanted to hire me. Basically, I told them my resume spoke for itself and I'd expect to have "Davis" added between Fleenor and Green's names within two years. They said that should be fine.

In other news, I should know something about a job at BSC early next week. I'll probably use one job offer against the other in order to attract an extremely lucrative deal. We're talking five digits here people, and not the higher end of five digits, more like the lower end. The kind of income that allows you to live on the teatering brink of financial independence from your parents. Now that's good money.

2007-02-12T13:26:00.000-05:00

Continuing with the Jesus theme-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TryCRgWW6f0

Cheerio.

2007-01-10T17:02:00.000-05:00

Dear Blog fans,

It is with deep regret that I will no longer be greeting you from Michigan. As of Saturday I'll be moving home to Alabama. Long story.

Here's a short story: I saw this sweet Jesus billboard on the side of the highway.

Help me Jebus.

2006-12-19T20:35:00.000-05:00

Good Lord.

2006-12-11T19:54:00.000-05:00

Christmas...church gnomes and formal dinners.

I'm not sure why, but I'm in a Christmasy mood this year. I think much of this can be attributed to our Christmas tree, which I've named Pokey, and Sufjan Steven's Christmas album. Check it out.

Pokey came to us from "up North" where one of our NOAH volunteers has property. He chopped us down a tree and brought it to Amy and I for Christmas. Pokey already has lights and ornaments.

Even bottle opener man got to be on the tree. He insists on being photographed upside down.

This is my car. Looking at it the other day, I decided the Explorer was not happy with me. Afterall, it never agreed to operate in Michigan's cold and snowy climate. I caught myself feeling bad for not warning the Explorer about the inclement weather. It did look kind of dirty and icy from leftover snow. So, to appease the car, I promised I would drive it by its birthplace, Ford headquarters.

This is Abby. She's the church secretary's helper dog. She's become my dog away from home.

Dot is not happy about the situation, at all.

At Central UMC we have what I like to call, a church gnome. His name is Mr. Brown. He's really just the church maintenance man, but I choose to believe he's the church gnome. Mr. Brown is about a million years old and never says a word, except the ocassional "howdy do." Ok, he really doesn't say that, but I wish he did. I also like to imagine that he lives in the church basement and enjoys playing the flute. I couldn't get a picture of him, yet, so I decided this would do for now. One fine day I'll get a picture of Mr. Brown, church gnome/maintenance man.

Dinner Party...

The other night I decided Amy and I should have a formal dinner, for no particular reason. The kind where you sit on the far end of the table from your dinner companion. Like Mr. Burns would on the Simpsons. We unfolded the leaflets to the dining room table and put on our Sunday best, for no particular reason.

Because we were so far away from each other, conversation got a bit awkward.

It's a good thing the milk mellowed me out. Ummm...nothing like a good heartland 2%.

Amy was a good sport to indulge my weirdness. I feel like there should be more about our dinner party, but we didn't take many pictures...and without pictures, its really not the same.

After dinner, I assumed my position at the sink, con beer.

In other news, I'm on the brink of solving homelessness. -Tyler

2006-12-04T22:10:00.000-05:00

DC- Part Deaux...and snow.

Thanks to Southwest's cheap rates on direct flights from Detroit to DC, I made another visit to see my peeps. I didn't take many pictures, but, I think I got a few good ones.

Saturday, Webb, (that guy that's not me -->) myself, and our good friend CT took a bike ride around the city. We stopped to walk around the Jefferson Memorial (in the background). (Why do I keep putting things that are obvious in parentheses?)

I'm glad this Benny Hinn flier was on their fridge, and I'm glad I took its picture. Because, you see, to me, Benny Hinn is like Jesus, with a combover. Let me put this in mathematical terms: Jesus + combover = Benny Hinn.

CT Stevens. The man, the myth, the legend. Definitely not a Sore Loserman, but definitely wearing a sweet cut off, paint splattered, defeat mocking t-shirt on our bike ride.

Today, it snowed in Detroit all afternoon. The first snow to stick. Also, my first time to drive in the snow. It was scary, in a I've never done this before, but now I did it and won't be scared next time, except a little bit, sort of way.

I realize this picture's a little dark, but hey.

Thanks for reading. I hope things are good for you. -Tyler

2006-11-28T20:51:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving and beyond...

I took a trip home to Birmingham for the holiday and thought I'd share a few things from my visit.

I got to see my two Grandmothers, both live in the 'ham. Mumsie, on the left, is my dad's mom. She says things like, "Now Tyler, have you eva?" For example, "Have you eva seen such a mess out on the highway?" "Have you eva's" usually refer to bad things.

Ahrie is on the right. She is my mom's mother and is a folk artist. She has her own website, www.mariejeff.com.

PS- this picture was not taken over Thanksgiving. Also, Spencer looks mean.

Let me explain. I saw my cousin's kids over Thanksgiving. They're little kids andI find myself having to resist the temptation to say things like, "I can't believe how much he's grown!" I just can't stoop to that level of adultness. Anyway, one of the kids, Davis, my cousin's five or sixish year old son has long little kid hair, kind of mulletesque. I don't have a picture of him so I google image searched "kids with mullet." I found a picture of a different kind of Mullet, and decided to keep it.

My aunt Gail gave me a gift while I was at home. She thought cork lady and friends could use a new pal. Meet Eastern European magnet woman. She's a bit shy and tends to "stick" to the refrigerator. zinger. I also noticed she comes with her own cat. bonus points.

We decided to have a gumbo party at the Davis household the day after Thanksgiving. I was in charge of making the roux. I'm a good stirrer.

I tried to put Dot in the roux, but she would have non of it.

Instead, she got to wear a festive hat for the party.

Spencer also decided to go with a different look.

Porn stache + mutton chops + soul patch = facial hair trifecta

A few of the gumbo party people. A swell time was had by all.

I even got invited to a debutante ball in Gadsden, AL while I was home. All hail Ms. Katie Paul Wilson, Gadsden's newly eligible elitist. You know, deb. balls are a lot like Integration Celebrations. Chew on that.

And now for something I like to call, a little trip I took to Canada last night to eat dinner...

That's right. We entered America Junior, I mean Canada, around 7:30, Amrica time (with a Bush voice), or Eastern time, whatever you prefer.

Alison Downs was visiting from Alabama, also in Amrica. The food was...(I feel like Homer Simpson when he was a food critic for the Springfield newspaper) delicious.

But, the water in Canada is tounge whipping off bad, which is pretty bad. Everything there is so different and bad. More like, "Ew Canada."

In this picture I pretended to "play the slots," as the locals are often heard saying in the Canadian casinos.

"50 beautiful women & 1 ugly one"

Oh strip clubs, any thing goes in Canada. Might as well cal it CananomoralsunliketheUSda.

A picture from Windsor's riverfront of Detroit. It really was a cool view of the skyline, and a nice visit to our northern neighbor.

That's all -Tyler

2006-11-23T11:44:00.000-05:00

This was kind of a lame idea. Sentences are kind of hard. I think I'll write the other four right now. Ok, I'm done.

2006-11-21T21:31:00.000-05:00

Mexican restaurants are God's gift to people who aren't Mexican.

2006-11-20T16:22:00.000-05:00

Sentence #2

When Jenny told Forrest to turn into a bird and fly far far away, I wonder if she had a specific bird in mind...Bluejay?

2006-11-19T22:57:00.001-05:00

A sentence a day, for a week.

Today's sentence:

Everyone needs to go to "The Break," at least once, even if you don't know what/where it is, find it, live it, love it, take cookie cake, don't ask me to explain, running out of breath, and room for commas where there should be periods without raising too many questions about the legitimacy of this sentence.

2006-11-08T19:32:00.000-05:00

Things I do.

On Tuesday nights I go to kickboxing class at the Y. It is sweet. This woman named Stella teaches the class and it runs for an hour. She's kind of a dominatrix. I'm one of maybe two dudes that attends the class on a regular basis, but I don't care. Ain't nothin' wrong with doing a little cardio kickboxing on a Tuesday night with Stella and the girls.

I guess you've realized Amy takes a lot of these pictures. When I want her to take my picture it usually goes something like this:

Tyler: Uhhh, Amy, can you take my picture?
Amy: Is it for the blog?
Tyler: Yea...um...ok, basically, I'm going to stand over here and act like I'm kicking someone
Amy: ...Whatever.
flash (goes the camera)
Tyler: You think you could take another one, maybe if you stood over there and I do this...yea, that'll work
Amy: Oh my lord you're weird.

I've also joined a class at a local United Methodist church centered around this book, "Expereincing God." (I accidentally typed "Gob" instead of "God", it was funny, anyway...) Wasn't it nice of Gob to pose for the cover shot? I thought so too. The class is a little different than what I expected, but its challenged and expanded my ideas about God and what I believe is important about my faith.

I thought the "church ladies" should get some blog time too. They are such delightful people.

It's dawning on me that I have to do a lot of "real person" things, even though I only consider myself about a "half a real person" or so, seeing as I don't pay bills or file for income taxes or anything on that level of adultiness. The picture above is the result of this past Saturday's grocery shopping outing. Our Saturday shopping reminded me of that part in Old School where Will Ferrell sasy to somebody, "Well, um, actually we've got a pretty nice little Saturday planned, we're going to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time."

This past Saturday Amy forced me to buy a case of wine, against my will. I kept telling her that I didn't think it was a wise use of my limited missionary stipend, but she threatened to physically harm me, so I gave in. That's a true story.

Cork lady was pleased with our purchase. Doesn't she look pleased?

For Halloween I went to a "Super _____" themed party. So you were suppossed to dress up as Superman, Superstar, whatever, get creative. I decided to be Supercalifragilisticexpalidocious. How does one dress as Supercalif...cious you might ask, or not ask. Well I'll tell you. Just tape the letters of the word all over your clothing. As luck would have it, two other jerks at the party had the same idea. Only, they decided to be characters from Mary Poppins. Lame.

Jerk Chimney sweep. (middle)

Not pictured: jerk Mary Poppins, girlfriend of jerk Chimney Sweep.

A nice picture of our street.

Don't worry mom, I'm making good choices.

The End -Tyler

2006-10-31T10:02:00.000-05:00

Dear... people who read this,

I've decided to take the week off from blogging, but I thought I could provide a few odds and ends for your enjoyment, which is what this usually is, I guess.

Have you ever heard of Birmingham-Southern College? If so, continue. You might be interested to know the BSC ultimate frisbee team is currently ranked eleventh in the nation. As of yesterday they were ranked third. A shout out to all the ultimate guys, including my brother, Spencer "flickin ain't easy" Davis. Actually, Spencer is probably the only Ultimate team member reading this, so I guess this particular "shout out," if you will, is specific to him. Check out the link to look at the rankings.

http://www4.upa.org/scores/scores.cgi?div=18&page=7

In honor of Halloween, I found a special picture of one special little guy all dressed up in his costume.

http://bsc.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=31278875&op=1&view=all&subj=31900875&id=6505098

If you don't know who that person is, well, sorry. If you can't get on facebook, double sorry.

Happy Halloween. -Tyler

2006-10-23T21:20:00.000-04:00

After allowing Tyler to tell what it's like living in Detroit for the last two months, we decided it would be good for you guys to hear the real story of what living with Tyler is like and what he really does at work. So this week you will hear from his lovely roommate me – Amy Brown!, and me, Tyler, because I decide what goes on the blog dang it! My s(n)ide comments will be in bold. I will state in advance, that I am not as witty or funny as Tyler so the blog might not be as humorous as it normally is.

First, Tyler has introduced me to lots of wonderful music. Before his arrival here in Detroit, I was going through a music rut. Since Tyler moved in about two months ago there has only been one time we have listened to my CD's. One of the great things Tyler brought to our house is the I-Pod. This is my new favorite toy. Tyler introduces me to lots of new artists – Sufjan Stevens, Ben Folds, and Wilco to name a few. Also, we have decided since Tyler has introduced me to so many new great groups and artists I need to experience them in concert to get the full experience of these artists. So, we are taking donations to make this dream a reality since the US-2 Missionary and grad student salary will not support this dream. Seriously, WWJD people?

Another one of Tyler's passions in life is sports. Over the past two months I have watched more Alabama football, tennis, and baseball than ever before. I've even played Frisbee golf. I can now have a slightly intelligent conversation about SEC football and a decent conversation about baseball, which is especially useful since the Detroit Tigers are the American League Champions and playing in the World Series. Go ahead Amy, tell everyone what the main difference between the AL and NL are... in the American League the pitcher does not have to bat. In the National League the pitchers must bat. During the World Series, you play by the home team's rules. For instance, when the Tigers are playing the Cardinals in St. Louis later this week, they might want to think twice about putting Kenny Rogers in as the pitcher because he will have to bat...and he might cheat. WWJD Kenny?

Since Tyler and I are both from the great state of Alabama, there have been many wonderful things Tyler has reminded me I like about the South. For instance, since moving to Detroit I had stopped drinking sweet tea. Upon Tyler's arrival this was quickly remedied and I have fallen in love with sweet tea again. One problem with Tyler and I both being from the South is our accents. Over the past two years I had almost gotten rid of my accent; however, now that Tyler is around mine has come back in full force. You can take the girl out of Alabama, but can't take Alabama out of the girl. <That's pretty cheesy, but I'll allow it. ummm...cheese.

While Tyler has introduced me to many things, one of the things I have introduced Tyler to is Fiesta Dishware. For those of you not familiar with Fiesta, please see the picture below. There are many benefits to having Fiesta dishware in our house. First, they are very colorful and pretty, you know, if you're into that kind of thing and all. Second, they make any food look good. Third, I like to cook because then we get to use them. Tyler likes the third reason best and I like living with Tyler because he likes to wash the dishes after I cook. Leslie - thank you for teaching him to be so helpful. Mama always said I was a good helper.

While I had been preparing myself for having a roommate for sometime before Tyler's arrival, one of things I did not anticipate was all the food and beer that would be consumed once Tyler moved in. I was not much of a beer drinker before Tyler arrived, but I am in the process of being converted. Also, Tyler is wonderful because he eats all the leftovers! One of the problems of living by yourself is it's very hard to cook for one person and I was always stuck with all the leftovers. With Tyler and I living together, it is a lot easier to be motivated to cook for two and the amount of leftovers decreases rapidly. Mama always said I was good at eating leftovers.

One of Tyler's major responsibilities at work is to compress all the garbage in the trash can. During preparations for Bag Lunch, we accumulate a lot of garbage from emptying boxes we get food in. We put these boxes in the trash can, but there is a lot of wasted space unless someone gets in the trash can and smashes the garbage. This is Tyler's favorite activity at work and he does a great job of demonstrating it below. If there's anything I learned in college to prepare me for the real world, it was in my freshman 1-Y course, " Ecological and Social Implications of Trash Stomping: Consolidating our Wastes to Create a more Just and Sustainable World", co-taught by Scot Duncan and Ed Lamonte. This stomp's for you guys.

On a serious note, part of the reason Tyler and I thought you guys would like to hear from me is that I could give some insight to what we do at work. We work with the NOAH Project, which stands for Networking, Organizing and Advocating for the Health of the Homeless. The main aspect of our job is meeting with clients and working to address some of the issues they face. Clients come in with a variety of needs - assistance with transportation to job interviews or doctors appointments, clothing and using the phone are just few. One of main aspects of meeting with clients is hearing their stories. Many times our clients are homeless or not far from it. Their lives are chaotic and full of trials and triumphs. Many times there is not much we can offer our clients but a listening ear and supportive shoulder. We cannot create more affordable housing, make bus fares cheaper or raise wages. She's right, that's Webb Lyon's job. Click on the link and scroll down, way down... http://www.endhomelessness.org/section/aboutus/staff. However, we can be empathic to what our clients are going through. Our clients always have a story to share and we can help those stories find a voice.

In conclusion, living and working with Tyler has been more fun than I could have ever imagined. We have laughed, talked about how much we hate cold weather and miss Alabama. Tyler is a wonderful roommate and co-worker. I am looking forward to continuing to get to know him over the next two years. Unless I die of crazyfreakinmichigancoldweathergivitus first.

This has been a combined effort of Amy and Tyler, but mostly Amy, for your viewing enjoyment.

2006-10-16T20:34:00.000-04:00

I'm not really sure how to start this post. I'll just warn you, it's going to be wierd, and a bit graphic.

Everything is fine with me, but this post really isn't about me. It's about taking strange pictures of souvenirs friends brought me as presents from different countries.

A special thanks to Carrie Beth Gantt and John Paul Wilson, whose Hungarian and Chilean souveniors, respectively, are pictured.

Let's get started. Above is "Hungarian Cork lady." She helps keep our wine fresh....

You know, cork people are kind of like crab people from South Park. This is the last time I'll mention crab people, but I needed a way to get this next line in. "Cork people, cork people, taste like cork, talk like people."

Hungarian bottle opener husband looks on adoringly at Hungarian cork lady.

Hey you two, get a drawer! Wait, they have a drawer. Get in the drawer.

Indigineous Chilean figurean man John Paul gave Tyler poppped in for a visit. The three enjoy discussing Hungarian-Chilean trade relations. Chilean figurine man would like to see Chile invest more heavily in cleaner Hungarian fuel sources. (He really is very passsionate on the issue)

Bottle opener man thinks having to stand on his head sometimes makes conversation awkward.

Cork lady enjoys a bit of light reading before she hits the sack.

Bottle opener man prefers to listen to music and watch the ocassional sit-com on his video i-pod before he goes to bed.

Bottle opener man always insists on being the inside spoon...uhh, men.

...and then things got out of hand.

I guess that's it? Well, one more picture.

Dot, 'cause I miss her. Awww, ain't she cute. On a side note, Dot hates souvenir figurines!

2006-10-09T22:41:00.000-04:00

Some pictures from what some might call:

Weekend Awesome.

I'm just saying, it was a pretty cool weekend.

Did you see the best band in the world that rhymes with Milco?

Were you photographed with a guy wearing a sweet t-shirt? Well, we'll see.

Friday night Amy and I traveled to Lansing (middle hand region of the state) to see a favorite band of mine, Wilco. The two pictures above are of the show. The first one, obviously during, and the second one, after. It was an extremely rockin show. If you're out there Jeff, you're my boy.

A cool thing about being in Detroit this weekend was getting to watch the Tigers beat out the Yankees to advance in the playoffs. No, I didn't go to any of the games, but I watched on TV with some friends. If any of you saw the series clincher on Saturday, you might have seen one of the Tigers players pour champagne on a police officer's head during the post game celebration. I tried to find that picture on the internet, but couldn't, so this one will have to do. A side note, this picture is kind of creepy and reminds me of the "rub my belly" scene in one of the Austin Powers movies.

Moving right along. Amy and I were invited by our co-worker/friend Andy, and his wife Leslie, above, to go to Cedar Point Sunday afternoon. For those of you not in the know, I wasn't either, but apparently Cedar Point is, and I believe the hype now, one of the best roller coaster parks in the nation. Andy and Leslie generously paid for my ticket.

I was fortunate enough to be photograped with this guy at the park. Cheers to you hippy haired beer liking man. Indeed sir, I enjoy beer too.

This is the Dragster. You know a roller coaster is freaky if they built stands for people to watch others ride. It's definitely intense, and will take you from 0-120 mph in four seconds, but it's nothing compared to...

...the Frog Hopper! Be afraid. It's 5 miles per hour of skull crushing force and exhileration. Just look at its terrified participants. It seems like I remember those kids screaming something like, "No, no more, it's just too much action packed frog hopping for one ride!"

A "real nice" picture of the park at sunset. Cedar Point is in Sandusky, Ohio and about a two hour ride from Detroit.

So concludes a weekend of awesomeness. -Tyler

2006-10-02T20:13:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking this week about what makes a guy "manly." You know, what makes us men, men? Is it pumping iron and flexing your guns like our friend Arnold? Maybe so.

I call this, "Things that make me feel like a man."

For some reason it's funnier if you read the captions as if you were Will Ferrell impersonating President Bush, or something like that.

Enjoy.

Drinkin out of my Bama coozie.

Watchin Bama play while drinkin out of my Bama coozie.

Rockin out to Toby Keith on my I-pod.

Eatin big pieces of meat.

Writin thank you notes to valued donors.

Makin sure terrorists aren't under my bed.

Examining flowery lace curtains...right? Of course I'm right. Chicks dig guys that examine lacey curtains.

End Bush impersenations. Ok, good.

Special thanks to my personal photographer: Miss Amy Brown. That should shut her up. :)

FYI, one of the pictures above is of me in my office at work, which you probably could have figured out. I do in fact write lots of thank you notes, mostly to folks who've contributed financially to the NOAH Project. Also, I have my own desk and computer, but share the office with the parish nurse, Chari. Oh, we also have our own bathroom, pretty sweet.

Let's see...Everything is good hear. I know some of you are interested in the work I'm doing regarding the homeless/how I'm adjusting to Detroit and so forth. I'm sure I'll be able to incorporate such things into future posts, we'll see what happens.

One more thing: If you're like me, you like awesome movies. So, you should go see Little Miss Sunshine, twice, maybe three times. Check it out. It's sweet...sweetness.

I guess that's it for now. I'm thinking about everyone and hoping each of you are doing well. Don't hesitate to give me a call if you ever want to chat. My cell remains the same. Would I abandon the 205, nooo.

-Tyler

2006-09-26T21:33:00.000-04:00

Hello-

I'm never really sure what to say in this introductory section. How's everyone doing? How's mama n' them?

My aim for this post was to come up with pictures of things Detroit, but, as you'll see it turned into whatever struck me as blog worthy.

Hope you enjoy. -Tyler

Above and below are pictures of the old train station in Detroit. It's one of the more visible examples of the city's decline.

On a lighter note: When I first saw it, I was like, that place kind of looks like the Tower of Terror at Disney World. That would be neat... Am I right or am I right? No, I am not right. The ToT, as I will cal it, is pink and looks nothing like the train station in Detroit. Google image search told me so: Check it out:

http://www.guide2wdw.com/images/1Digital%20Pictures/MGM%20-%20Tower%20of%20Terror%20Outside%202.jpg

This place is so dreary I waited for an overcast rainy day to take its picture and capture its full dreariosity. I'm probably not being fair, architectually, it's a beautiful builiding. I just can't help but wonder if there are any free falling elevators inside. Maybe that twilight zone video thing is playing somewhere inside? What's that? You've never ridden the ToT or been to Disney World? Oh, sorry. Moving on...

Above: An outside shot of the church where I work (Central UMC) from the park across the street.

Below: Two interior shots of the church sanctuary. It's real purdy.

This is a shot I took from the sixth floor patio of Central. It's pretty crazy how close the church is to Comerica Park, home of the Tigers. You can also see a little bit of Ford Field (where the Lions play) behind Comerica.

As some of you, ok probably most all of you do not know, the Detroit Shock recently won the WNBA title. In honor of Shock victory a jersey was placed on the statue of the "Spirit of Detroit" downtown. Every time a bell rings, no, I'm so wierd, every time a local pro team wins a championship the team's jersey is hoisted over the statue. We'll see if the Tigers are next.

I don't care what anybody says, I look good in an apron. Just thought you should know.

A nice picture of our house. As I've mentioned before, it's a duplex and my roomate and I live on the second floor. You should know, while I was outside taking this picture I spotted the kids on our block, the Spanish speaking ones, and I thought about taking their picture for the blog. I decided not to because it probably wouldn't have been like, oh, theirs our friendly new neighbor, let's go take our picture with him. It would have been more like, let's run inside and tell Mommy about the sexual predator with the flashy camera.

Bad decision averted. Good picture of the house.

Just in case you were confussed, we live on the west side of town.

Really, there are two things I've always wanted to do, well, really just since I took this picture. One, take a picture of myself on a shrink chair, and two, incorporate the word verclemfnt into the blog. Don't I look verclemfnt?

Not pictured in the blog: the biggest tire in the world. That's right. Detroit is home to the world's largest tire. Unfortunately, I was not prepared to photograph the tire as I passed it on the interstate last week. However, you can take comfort in the fact that I am an Abnormally Large Tire Tiretician. It's a real profession, you can look it up. This one is hands down the biggest I've ever seen.

Also google image searchable: http://detroit.about.com/library/graphics/nighttire.jpg

2006-09-18T21:18:00.000-04:00

Hello there- I hope everyone is well.

This past weekend I visited some good friends from BSC who
recently moved to DC. I found a really good deal on some plane tickets and decided to take the plunge. Why not?

Here are a few pics from my visit. Enjoy.

I can't believe I got to meet the President and...uh...this obviously important aid. I think the Pres, he said it was okay if we called him that, was talking about the massive amounts strategery involved in fighting the war on crab people. That's right, crab people from South Park are the new terrorists. Crab people are in, al quaeda is out.

Ok, for serious I really did go to DC.

Holby, so hot right now in his Bid Day shirt that you can't really read because the picture turned out blurry. That was a long sentence to type while doing the Zoolander impersonation in my head. Holby rocked his Bid Day shirt on Saturday in honor of, well, Bid Day.

DC has a really cool Eastern market, kind of a Saturday/Sunday farmer's market thing. I go to our Eastern market in Detroit too. It's wierd that I do adulty stuff like this on a regular basis, but cool.

John Paul ponders the inner workings of an escelator. Actually, it doesn't look like he's doing much pondering, but if he was he'd probably be thinking something like, "I can't believe this stupid thing isn't working. I could fix this no problem, I mean, they didn't give me Phi Betta Kappa for nothing, right? Yea, Webb could definitely not fix this."

I thought the Metro station was picture worthy.

Haven't you ever been to DC and been like, gosh we have got to see the Free Mason's headquarters. Well if you're like me, the answer is probably no. However, we passed by their headquarter's on the way to church Sunday morning.

It also so happens that last year I was recruited by our next door neighbor in my dorm to join a local Masons chapter. Chase Stevenson, if you're out there, this one's for you buddy.

A scary picture Webb took of himself.

Home of Jim Wallis, author of God's Politics. Potentially the most redundant book ever written ever, period. Get it, I said ever twice. ...sorry. Cool house though. His place is only a block or so from my peepses place. By my peepses for those of you who don't habla slang, I mean "my friends."

Webb threw up the "DC" hands a lot during my visit. He alwasy looked so serious when he did that. I thought I should look cool too. Ok I'm just going to say it, I am freakin ripped, not to mentioned evenly tanned.

Seeing as we were in the nation's capital I was feeling particularly patriotic. A salute seemed to be in order. Dang that is a tight salute.

Ain't we cute. The end.

2006-09-14T19:40:00.000-04:00

I think I might call this little piece "Thought for Food". Here's a taste of what's going on inside my brain. Enjoy, and sorry.

Circle Dancing

I went to a wedding this past weekend. My co-worker here at the church was getting hitched and I kind of got a sympathy, new kid on the block invite, which was nice. After the wedding reception I was thinking, you know what I've noticed about wedding reception dancing? I'll tell you. There seems to be a lot of holding hands circle dancing going on at these events. You know who's at center stage of these things? Kids. I don't know about you but standing in a circle holding the hand of the person on each side of you while trying to dance in place can be kind of awkward and uncomfortable. That's where the kids com into play. They take over. Usually the kid comes to the middle of the circle. When he/she starts to do his/her thing, all attention is on the kid. You can look as stupid as you want standing there at the will of the woman beside you whose decided to flail your arm around like she just don't care because nobody's paying you any attention. Everything the kid does turns to gold. Even if said kid is not really into the whole spotlight thing. Everyone ewws and goos over the kid(s) and you're free to flail about until the song ends. Incredible.

Another note. If the hand holding circle dancing becomes too much to handle, and it will, here's what you do. It makes you look kind of good really. In order to disengage from hand holding, start clapping to the beat of the music. All will follow suit. Slowly back away from Aunt Beatris and Grandma Rose. They're so wrapped up in how cute the flower girl looks doing her thing, they'll never notice your escape to the bar. Mission accomplished.

Those kids and their Spanish

You know what's crazy? Little kids who speak Spanish, like, as a first language. Everyday I walk from my car to our house and there are Hispanic kids outside their homes playing and doing whatever little kids do out on the sidewalks. Nevermind that Spanish is their first language, they're good, they're very good. I think I took as many years of Spanish in school as these kids are alive. Five years of Spanish class and these kindygardner's are blowing me out of the water. It just freaks me out. There's something a little creepy about little kids wo can speak a language you can only partially understand. They're yelling back and forth to each other about, a bicycle maybe? I think to myself, how does my hair look? Are they making fun of my hair? I don't know. Yea, I see you over there on your tricycle Carlito, probably talking to Julio about the not yet opened juicy juice you're going to put underneath my front tire. Two can tango amigo. I know how you roll Carlito. Don't you look at me like that. I know where you sleep and your mother and I are...well, we're acquaintences damn it. We've exchanged hellos.

How do these kids know so many big words? I start to walk a little bit faster, finally, safe inside the house, far from their taunts and playful laughter. Ok, I know they probably didn't even see me and if they did, they were like who's the white guy, or, "gringo" as some might say. So, next time you walk by a heard of Hispanic children and they're speaking to each other in that cryptic language some might call "Spanish", you see how you feel, then get back to me.

In your face Energy

Have you ever looked at an energy drink can? It's like they're tying to out energy the competition. You got our friend Red Bull on the far right. Red Bull's pretty non-discript, kind of came in on the front side of the energy drink revolution and he's just kind of sittin back chillin in his blue and silver can, lookin slick, but not in your face. Then you got these other energy drinks and they're screaming, hey look at me I'm a freakin energy drink. I'm so loud and energizing! Drink me and you can jump off a cliff and land on your feet. No problem. Why do energy drinks yell at us with their vibrant colors and crazy fonts?

There's a billboard pretty near the interstate exit for our house advertising a new energy drink called Freak. There's this kind of scary looking black and grey, green eyed monster on the can and he single handedly out energy drinks all the competition. The add says "evil energy" at the bottom. Drink me if you dare and if you survive you can flip out on some lesser non-Freak drinking soul. Moral of the story, energy drinks are scary.

Thanks for reading. Hope everyone's well and I apologize for all this wierdness -Tyler

2006-09-08T21:18:00.000-04:00

Some pictures thus far.

Above: My roomate Amy in our kitchen. Rarrr, that Amy knows how to wear an apron.

We made some delicious guacamole. Eat your heart out John Paul. You too Ethan.

Our living room. We get nice light through the windows in the evening.

...and I thought there might not be enough money for beer. Silly Tyler.

John and Judy: The folks who invited Amy and I up to their place in "the thumb".

I sure can take a nice landscape picture. Eat your heart out...uhhh...famous landscape photographer?.

GGGGOOOOAAAAALLLLL!!! Actually this had nothing to do with soccer. I was a popular mosquito attraction.
I got to drive this tractor when we were "up North". I think I'm saying something like, "What's wrong with this freaking tractor? I am a professional tractor driver and drive tractors all the time. There must be something really wrong with this particular tractor because I've driven in like 100 tractor races". I couldn't figure out the clutch.

Some pretty spectacular awkward dancing I captured on film at Detroit's Jazz Fest on Labor Day weekend.

Me and the big wierd fountain downtown. In picture: Me and my best, this sure is a big wierd fountain pose.

The skyline from Belle Islle. The bridge to Canada is on the left.

2006-09-05T15:52:00.000-04:00

So what's up with the hand? Folks from Michigan like to use their hand as a map of the state. Take another look at a US map and you will see that Michgan vaguely resembles a human hand. Say I ask somebody from Michigan where such and such town is in Michigan. Without fail they'll throw their hand up, right hand mind you, palm out. Then they'll start pointing to the right hand with the left hand. In this case we'll use a golf golve, thank you google image search.

As you know, I'm in Detroit, which is roughly in the south eastern hand regoin of the state. This past weekend I had the opportunity to visit the state's beautiful thumb region. Seriously, people would ask me what I was doing for Labor Day weekend, and I was like, oh I'm going up North to the thumb. Duh. Everybody's doin it. Thumb or bust. People in Michigan really do call the thumb-esque part of the state "the thumb".

Lot's of folks around Detroit go "up North" as they say, for vacation. The North (of Michigan)consists of lots of woods, lakes, isolated areas, you get the drift. Good for huntin, fishin, "gettin right with God", "finding yourself", that kind of thing.

Two of our regular vounteers for NOAH invited Amy (my roomate) and I "up North" to their place in "the thumb". John and Judy's place is slightly below the thumb nail in our hand diagram to the left. Well, now above.

John and Judy are retired and probably in their early 60s. They come down to Central every Monday and Thursday to help us serve bag lunch. John and Judy both are extremely patient and work really well with people. They've also had Amy and I over to their house in Detroit for dinner. They really are exceptionally generous folks.

Anyway, the trip itself is not really worth telling about in this space. I really just wanted to better acquaint everyone to the Michigan hand. However, I did get to drive a tractor for the first time, so that was sweet. I jest about Northern Michigan being a place to "get right with God", but it really was a peaceful getaway for a few days.

Hope all is well with everyone. -Tyler

2006-08-29T15:57:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm here. Michigan that is. My mom, dad, and Spencer drove from Birmingham to Detroit with me to help move all my stuff here August 17th. That's 12 hours in the car if you're counting, I was. I'm living with a former US-2, Amy Brown, who some of you might remember from BSC. She graduated in 2004 and just finished her US-2 term working with Central United Methodist Chruch, where I am now the US-2. Amy's staying in Detroit past her US-2 term to attend grad school for social work at Wayne State while she continues to work at Central part-tme.

Amy and I live in a two-story duplex where we take up residence on the second floor. The house is owned by a church member named Maggie, who allows the US-2's to live in the upstairs apartment. Our house is in a part of Detroit called Mexicantown. As you might gather, Mexicantown is heavily latino and Amy and I are two of only a handful of caucasian "amigos" on out street, which is cool. There isn't any A/C in our place so we have all the windows open while it stays warm outside. We can usually hear our neighbors' kids outside playing, latino music, and the ice cream man going up and down the street through our windows in the evening. I am extremely fortunate to have Amy here, both living and working, if only part-time, with me at Central. Amy has been invaluable both in helping me get settled in at home and at work and has introduced me to lots of people since I've been here.

During my time here as a US-2 I'll be working with a ministry of the church called the NOAH project. NOAH stands for Networking, Organizing, Advocating, for the Health of the Homeless. NOAH has two major components: social services, which are offered on Mon. through Thurs., and a bag lunch served on Mon. and Thurs. The NOAH staff consists of three caseworkers, one nurse, a counselor, and yours truly. Central is an inner city church and is one of many organizations helping to serve Detroit's large homeless population.

Pretty much I'm learning as I go. So far I've sat in on some clients with the caseworkers. The clients are almost always homeless individuals who need help with transportation, finding jobs, housing, food, clothing, basic hygeine items... you name it. People come to the case workers for all types of reasons. Most requests for assistance pertain to the items listed above. Fortunately, NOAH has a great staff and a fleet of regular volunteers, most of which were formerly homeless themselves, who help the whole operation run smoothly.

So far I'm doing pretty good getting adjusted to Detroit. Obviously, I miss home and all the people and places I'm used to seeing and going. That doesn't mean I don't like it here. I've found some really good places to jog along the Detroit River, which runs between Canada and Detroit, and I'm planning on joining a brand new YMCA that just opened up downtown, walking distance from where we work I might add. I also have been doing a lot of hanging out with married couples, which I noted last week on facebook, if you keep up with such things. I really don't know many people my own age yet besides Amy and one of our co-workers. Lots of the people I have met are members of Central (married couples) who've graciously invited me to their homes and out for meals. I've met some very nice people here who've taken the time to prepare meals for me, take me out for ice cream, and tour me aournd the city by foot so I can get a better feel for Detroit.

If you've gotten this far, thanks for reading. I know most of this is kind of bland material, but I wanted to use the first post to update folks on what's generally going on since I moved. Also, I'm new to this blogging business and I'm not exactly what you might call a particularly "gifted writer" or a "dazzaling story teller" or even "fully literate" so go easy on me. When I was writing that last sentence I kind of pictured Chris Farley on SNL doing the motivational speaker act. It's kind of funny when you do that. Maybe it's just me. I'm not sure how often I'll end up posting to the blog, so no promises. Oh and this thing won't let me do spell check, so sorry about that.

I hope everyone is doing well at home. If you know of anyone who might like to read this pass it on.

peace -Tyler